You Are Wiser Than You Think: A Whole New Approach To Giving Guidance II
It is important for you learn how to recognize the three selves and how they influence the way you express yourself, not only by your words, but also by your actions. You will learn how to work with the three selves to remain balanced and centered when you communicate with others. You will also learn to recognize which "self" is motivating the other person and how to direct the conversation in such a way that the person will be able to "hear" the guidance coming to them through you.
Once more, the three selves are:
- Higher self: also known as the God self, Spirit, the One or the Light.
- Middle self: also known as intellect, reason or the mind.
- Smaller self: also known as emotions, child or personality.
In this book we will use the terms: higher self, middle self and smaller self to refer to the aspects but, you might want to take note of the other terms as they will be mentioned in certain instances where they will be more appropriate.
How do I tell the selves apart?
- If you are ruled mainly by emotions you are in your smaller self.
- If you are intellectualizing and rationalizing a lot, middle self.
- If you are seeing the big picture and have a sense of "I'm okay" you are working in the higher self.
Why should I bother meeting my three selves?
The changes that can occur in your life are amazing once you start acknowledging each part of yourself. These aspects affect you every day, whether you know it or not. Once you consciously start working with the three selves, as a team, there is nothing you can't accomplish.
What might change?
Some of the changes that can occur once you start working with your three selves are:
- You will have more control of your emotions.
- You will be able to identify problems quickly and address them before they become too hard to deal with.
- No more buying things and taking them back because you have changed your mind. From now on, you will know exactly why you are buying something and use it for as long as you need to.
- Get the most out of seminars and workshops. Be able to integrate all the things you learn and actually use them in your life.
- You will be able to bounce back from hurtful situations because you are able to move through it quickly, learn from the lesson and move on.
- Be able to take responsibility for your life and feel great about it.
- Make confident decisions, no more rushing because you are frightened you are going to "miss out."
- Be healthier, physically, mentally and spiritually because every part of you is being nourished.
- Remove stress from your life because you can now go in and understand why you are doing what you are doing. Then figure out what you would rather be doing instead and put a plan into action to do it.
The list could go on and on, so let's all get better acquainted.
UNDERSTANDING THE JOB OF EACH OF THE SELVES
The higher self is not motivated by our needs but by what is good for us as a whole being. The higher self knows the direction our life needs to take in order for us to accomplish what it is we came here to do. The higher self is not clouded by emotions, and therefore, not mislead by the illusions that can confuse us and take us off our path. It is a powerful teacher and the most direct way to deliver information that will truly make guidance effective.
It can take information and gradually release it into the person's awareness until they can understand it.
Higher selves will work together as a team. This means if you consciously work from your higher self then your higher self will, in turn, work in harmony with the higher self of others thus achieving the best result for all concerned.
The Higher self often doesn't relate to the material world, and though the 'let go and let God' is a wonderful process, it is necessary to have a balance of the three selves to live within that belief.
The middle self is the bridge between the higher self and the smaller self. It is our voice of reason. The middle self gets more involved in the processing of information and helps to keep us centered so we are able to reason.
The middle self is great for appealing to when you want to move someone out of emotion and into reason.
If you are too much in your middle self, you will find that you may lack imagination, flexibility and spontaneity. You will also be over critical of yourself and others. The middle self needs the influence of the higher and the smaller self in order to keep itself balanced.
This is a wonderful part of our make up and can be our strongest ally, worst enemy or most damaged and frightened child. Our emotions are extremely powerful when it comes to the way in which we communicate.
The smaller self is a great team player once it trusts you. If you can get someone (this includes yourself) emotionally involved in something you have a great start on the situation. Once you win the smaller self's trust and willingness to co-operate, you are then ready to move forward to gaining the trust and co-operation of the middle and higher selves.
If your smaller self is running your life, you will be on an emotional roller coaster and constantly dealing with drama. The smaller self needs the wisdom of intellect and protection of spirit to be able to make sound decisions that can be put into action in your life.
Who is running your life?
Do you have trouble being around people who are different from you? If you are low key, do high-energy people wear you out? Do you find that you do the same thing and go the same places because it's easier? Do you have the same excuses for everything; cost too much, takes too much time, I'll do it later when I have such and such in place. This is how our life looks when we have allowed one of our selves to dominate our choices instead of all three of your selves influencing your decisions.
See if this seems familiar:
Your middle self is running the show if you spend much of your time trying to stay realistic in dealing with life. Paying those bills, being very responsible and having no time for fun until that is taken care of. And then when that is taken care of, there will be something else that has to be done first. Play never happens.
If your smaller self is in control you may forget to pay the bills because you have been out shopping. Or, you may find yourself so caught up in the drama of life that you are too emotionally stimulated that you can't seem to come up with a plan to solve the problem. You find yourself spinning your wheels or on an emotional roller coaster.
Or last but not least, your higher self. Not being grounded: as in; what bills, oh, I need to pay those?
You will find your life will become a lot more fun and productive once you start to work with each aspect of your self. There will be times when it will benefit you to let one self be more dominant, but the important thing is that it is a conscious choice.
Here are some situations which all of us have been in where we allow one self to "run the show" to get the job done. Even though the other selves are still present, we consciously let one self dominate.
- It's time to do your taxes so you consciously move into your middle self, the intellect, and get it done.
- It's time to play with your kids, so you allow yourself to lighten up and go out and play.
- You need to "be big" about something and let someone have their way even though you might not agree. You know they need to win this time so you put your ego on hold and step into your higher self and allow.
Being able to let one self "lead" is a good sign that your three selves are clear on what their task is and as a result, you are able to focus and get the job done effectively and easily with your three selves working as a team.
When each of the selves wants to be in charge at the same time there arises an internal struggle. In this situation our life can become a casualty of the struggle and we lose control over the out come of the situation.
Some scenarios could be:
Small self in charge - You sit down to do your taxes but have to have the television on knowing full well that you are setting yourself up to get distracted so a one hour job, takes three. And the real kicker is you know that is what will happen and do it anyway.
Middle self in charge - Perhaps, with good intent, when you play with your children you have an overwhelming desire to point out faults instead of letting it go and enjoy the playtime.
When the spiritual self is not present - Or, no matter how much you would like to let that person have his/her way you just have to have the last word as they walk out the door even though you know, doing so, will gain nothing positive.
So, what's going on? Basically, your three selves are all fighting to run the show and there is no communication between the selves or with your conscious mind so there is no exchange of information occurring. Everyone is fighting over the same bone, and all are only coming away with a piece. As a result, you are having a constant struggle to get anything completed.
Your middle self doesn't trust your child to have fun because your child is not responsible.
Your child doesn't like your middle self because it doesn't know how to lighten up and keeps messing things up by trying to force everything.
Your higher self isn't heard by either of the others because they are always fighting over who is right, and therefore your spiritual life is getting almost no attention and you feel like you have no purpose.
And you wonder why you can't make a decision about what you want to do in your life!
So, let's fix that!
Onto Part III...