How to Treat Seekers More Individually
by Rovay Voksalv
This article’s purpose is to give a slight idea of how a different person, seeking your services, can be treated – some readers prefer to look the same way at all clients, because that way they feel like they would be less biased – after all, it is not easy to say something bad to someone when the cards turn up in such way – but I am here to present the other point of view – how one can treat a person as individual when it comes to readings, when to obey the seeker’s whims, and when to stop obeying them.
Different people have different whims – one of the most common ones is that there are people who want to get their reading with another person by their side. While readings usually go better when it is just you and the seeker, I came to see that sometimes I need to obey the seeker’s whim when it comes to that – even if I really, really dislike more than the seeker’s energy around myself, I do know that if the seeker isn’t calm enough, the results would not be satisfying for either of us, so nowadays I just shrug and agree on brother/sister/boyfriend or someone else to hold his/her hand while I am making the spread.
One does have to know when a whim similar to that one should be refused, of course. It is one thing to invite a close person in his life to help him/her to feel more calm and brave; but when they want to invite all of their friends to see, that is something you can say “No” to, without any regret. Even if the seekers don’t always realize it, what is going to be said to them is more personal and more important than they suspect, and they definitely shouldn’t share it with everyone nearby. There are those, who take the tarot-readings jokingly before coming in, but become quite serious once they sit down – probably because the influence of their friends isn’t upon them anymore. If you think that a person’s friend would have a bad influence on him, or you, while you are reading /is not taking things seriously enough; is bored and doesn’t want to be there; is interfering by asking questions and such;/ - then you are free to ask the friend of the seeker to leave, and you can assure the seeker that it would be better that way.
Another whim is when people aren’t comfortable getting a reading where you are. Maybe they would feel more comfortable at home – even if you think the location which you are reading at is comfortable enough, you must understand that they, as individuals, may think otherwise. Decide for yourself if you should go visit them at their home, and if you should ask for the travel to the location to be paid for you. This is, of course, when we speak of real life readings – with the online readings, through Skype for example, things are much easier, because both you and the seeker are in a safe location.
An example of when not to obey a whim like such is if you are not sure if the seeker has safe intentions at heart when he/she invites you over to read at their location; usually such intentions can be sensed pre-read, and it shouldn’t be hard for you to just politely refuse to do a reading at their home, because you would prefer to do it on your own safe location. Another reason to refuse is when you see the seeker is just asking you for a change of reading location because he is unsure or afraid to of the reading itself, and is trying to stall the process by asking for things as such.
This is another thing to keep in mind. When you notice that a person has too much requirements, it is a signification of their own unwillingness to proceed with the process, because they are too afraid of what it may involve/what it may reveal/ what it may show for their future – and in such case, the best thing you can do is advise them to come back later, when they feel more calm and in peace with themselves.
With the exception of that, you can always obey the little whims they have; if they want to be more bright in the room, because they do not like dark atmosphere, it wouldn’t hurt to make light a candle or two, for example; if they think that the spread-cloth you are using is too dark, or don’t like picture on it/if it has one/, you can always change it to a different one for them; you can even ask them if they would prefer you to use a deck with different color, be it brighter or darker, if that doesn’t confront your own deck philosophy, of course.
individuals, of course, who do not like the idea of deciding
themselves what should stay, what should go, and if something
should be changed – they would feel less sure, and maybe
more suspicious if you ask them if they want more light
in the room. That type of people would prefer if you
just tell them to sit, tell them what you want from
them, and then proceed on with your own process. That
type of people would usually come and take a seat down,
without even looking around, while the other one may
hesitate, look down at their shoes, or look around the room.
Try to notice these little things – discovering what
type of person you are dealing with before you have
started is important, because making the seeker feeling
peaceful and calm before the reading itself is the best way
to make sure that the reading will go as good as
needed. People are individuals; learning to understand
them as such will improve the process for both them and
yourself. We tarot readers are partially psychologists,
© Rovay Voksalv