I identify with Crowley’s princess, the "earthy part
of fire", since I am supposedly a Virgo with moon in Leo.
His wild Jezabel catching her tiger by the tail is my alter-ego
wannabe! But the first sketch became a tiger-striped cello, bearing
roses as breasts, and a scroll-crowned head of woman. Grotesque.
Do a Tigress instead. Does a Tiger have orange stripes? Or Black?
Is it white with orange stripes? Orange with white stripes? How
‘bout a black panther with luminescent eyes. Have you ever
tried to draw a tiger? My Pantheress mutated into 20 foiled attempts
at a Pornographic Rose with wrapped and curling petals, giving
birth to a bright spirit with yellow hair, holding an orange rose
in her outstretched left hand, with 12 drops like the Marseilles
sun card, and holding back her hair to see with her right. The
deadline approached! Still not quite right, I salvaged my favorite
rose spirit and scrapped the background. I wanted a meaningful
backdrop – a Volcano! A Hundred googled volcanoes later,
a photograph of Arenal stared back from the computer screen: a
black mountain spewing lava, swirling patterns of smoke and clouds
in a bright blue night. I blinked; it was a woman swooning in
It is a happy accident
that this image born of scrying in smoke, is the negative and
reversal of my failed rose, in pose, in colors, in gestures. One
was clearing her eyes of hair to see, the Arenal woman is covering
her face in anguish, to avoid seeing, and avoid being seen, the
rose spirit was emerging naked and white from unfolding dress
of petals, Arenal is imprisoned black in her tight-waisted dress
of mountain and bodice of lava.
fortuitous coincidence, I happened to come upon a Sculptor and
Painter, at the Turkish copy shop, the unofficial spiritual center
of Tempelhof – he was impressed with my Arenal, found her
powerfully erotic. He encouraged me to leave off the rose, who
was not of the same simple power, in another register all together.
And so here you have, after at least 30 different attempts, and
so many different concepts, my final, simple Page of Wands.
The Volcano Goddess glows in the night, covering her eyes in anguish.
Volcano: explosive, raw life force, divine retribution, entrance
to the Underworld.
- an indomitable free spirit with creative, open mind, and volcanic
sexuality; enthusiasm, courage, optimism, ambition, excitement
- The shadow
side may be ferocious, violent, blind to the needs of others,
false, theatrical, vengeful, or intolerant.
messages from the subconscious are on their way, or perhaps an
explosion of bottled up emotions.
constructs: "burning questions", "blazing intelligence",
"volcanic passion", and “bursts of enthusiasm
“,” smouldering sensuality “,” searing
intensity, flaming queen
Water-color pencil, water-soluble colored pencil, student-type
water-color inspired by an uncredited photograph of a the Arenal
volcano in Costa Rica.
Firemaiden, 42 is an aspiring opera singer and lives in Berlin.
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