The insight to your question lies below. First, observe the symbols and images in your Lenormand cards, then slowly take in the wisdom in your reading.
Sorrow and grief over loss. This card asks us to see beneath the beautiful illusion of the roses, to address the pain and deal with the grief in order to help us see beyond our current situation.
You are stuggling with yourself over the guilt you feel when you feel you have fallen short of society's expectations.